xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Great, Lazy kind of Day I got to sleep in today. It was luxurious and lovely. I really needed it because I had the most bizarre dream during the night and I needed to recoup from it. Seriously, it left me in paroxysms of deep convulsive sobs. I woke up crying so hard it was unreal. I thought I'd woken up everybody in the house, but they seemed oblivious and I lay there awake for a bit before falling back to sleep. I then proceeded to have the same dream complete with heaving sobbing that inevitably woke me again. You might be wondering at this point what awful type of dream I was having to provoke such a strong reaction, not once but twice in a night. Well, as near as I could recall I had met some woman named Judy and we had become friends. I gave her a gift that somehow caught on fire and she died as a result. The sobbing sprung from the deep feelings of guilt that I had lain on myself. I was responsible for this woman's death because it had been my gift that had caught on fire. Now, in the light of day, I can see how illogical this may sound and how accidents happen all the time and no one can be held liable for such freak occurrences. Nevertheless, in the mists of REM, it was as real and as frightening to me as it could ever have been in reality. And, if I am honest with myself, it is not at all improbable that I would lay that sort of guilt trip upon my conscience, whether or not it made sense or was logical. Such is simply the way I am. An interesting in not auspicious start to a lazy day. We had eggs in a nest for breakfast and I put up our little three foot tree. I suppose it is a good thing that we didn�t buy a larger tree. I don't even have enough decorations for this one. But to Julia this little tree is like magic, "p-etty!" and "wooo-ooooow!" "'an-ta!?"and "ights" that are "hot!" I took a picture of her looking at the tree in sheer wonder and has that delighted "look momma!" expression that I love so dearly. Perhaps I will post it on her website later. The latter half of the day was spent having a nap (all fo us all at once on the bed!) and cleaning up the little bits that get strewn about the house on a regular basis. I wrapped some gifts, vacuumed and swept and generally putted around doing useful everyday things. And didn't get out of my pjs until after 10pm when I went to take a bath and then climb right back into them again. Now this is the life. Tomorrow, already, life begins to slip back to normal and we have a date to talk to my parents about moving in with them. *sigh* It was a great day while it lasted. Maybe I should dream that vividly more often. 11:19 p.m. - 2003-12-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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