xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Mixed Bag of Friendship I feel a bit tumultuous. Earlier tonight I got to spend a good few hours taking with R. We got to catch up on life and all the little things we never got to talk about these last few months as busy-ness overtook our lives. It was glorious and wonderful and so easy to fall back into that familiar groove of friendship. I felt like I was coming home to a mug of hot chocolate, a bowl of hearty stew on a wintry night, a popsicle on a runny hot summer night. My heart felt its kindred spirit come to roost for awhile. Later, I soaked in the dulcet tunes of Apocalypse Kow at the Fringe. There was quite the gathering of Kow fans, new and old, and it was so delightful to watch the group grow in style, repetoire and stage presence charm. Julia, of course, was busy charmin' the pants off of the crowd, until she got too tired to stand, that is. But before then she shimmyed, she shook, she begged a few doughnuts, she played with a few boys. She got caught in the incline of a sewer grate, going 'round and round until she plopped on her diaper bum clad flare pants. She was hot stuff, I tell you. Yet, all the while she would keep an eagle eye on me and the stroller, just in case we'd abandoned her to the Big Bad Wolf. And every so often she would toddle back to see us, to touch us, to cuddle for a minute. Just as she began climbing her stroller (damn you grandma for teaching bad tricks!) I caught sight of B hiding round the other side. She was clearly trying to see and play with Julia without my interference or noticing. Whether she was doing this because she didnt want to see me, or talk to me, or because she was afraid of what I might say to her, I dont know. What I do know was that it felt odd seeing her hide like that. A bit sad and a somewhat nostalgic. It was strange to see, in the span of one evening, the dichotomy of these two people--both of whom had strong ties to my heart--and how time has changed them and how it has changed me too. "Looking back on the memory of The dance we shared 'neath the stars above For a moment all the world was right How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance" Maybe we will dance on, or sit this one out. Maybe the next one is "our song" and maybe, just maybe, next time I'll care enough to make it work. 12:08 a.m. - 2003-08-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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