xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Babies I'm not going to fall off the band wagon, dammit. I'm going to post as many entries as needed to keep up, even though I am alrady starting to fall behind. Ack. How is it that life always runs away from me? Today we went to playgroup and there were herds of babies. It was a rampant disgusting (in that aww they are soooo cute kind of way) mob of little squeaks and newborn moans, coupled with knit caps and matching afghans. Not that there's anything wrong with them. It was more the sheer volume that made me feel a bit overwhelmed. Heaven sakes I only had a baby 4 months ago, you'd think that I'd have a respite from baby lust. And no, we are not thinking about more kids. OK ok, I'm lying. We think about it all the time. In fact, it is one of our primary conversational items. I was always in the "2 more, no more" camp after Elena was born, so as not to inflict my life on her. But hubby only wants one more. Well he really wants to have a son, but is only willing to try once more to fulfill that dream. It came up again when I started throwing things out. I want very badly to get into the type of groove that will allow me to throw out half my household without blinking. I may regret it later on, but chances are better that I wont notice the things that are gone at all. How often do I need a copy of "Teaching Adults How to Communicate with Poetry and Prose"? Now, "Daisy's Happy Potty Book" fits my days a bit better, and, as a result, gets prime bookshelf space on the mainfloor library. In any case, it is all in the thinking phase still since I havent really worked up the nerve to actually do it. I am getting there more every day though. On one of my daily round the house, what-junk-can-be-tossed excursions, I looked up at the 12 boxes of baby things that I have balanced precariously atop my child's closet. Even if I had another child, do I really need to keep it all? And if I dont have another child, shouldnt I just donate it all in one fell swoop right now? I have a feeling I would regret tossing the baby things more than the teaching ones at this point. Elena is, after all, only 4 months old, no matter how gigantic she looked next to the wee newborns today. And so I am back to staring at the boxes in the closet and wondering if I will ever have one more of my own in my arms as small as the ones I held today. Its too early to think about this, right? Someone, quick, pinch me and tell me to cuddle my kid, she'll only be a baby for so long.
11:12 p.m. - 2004-12-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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