xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hurting I am so angry right now I can hardly see straight to type but I need to get it all out before it explodes on my girl again. I feel bad about yelling but I am shaking with frustration. I am sad and upset and so hurt I can hardly breathe. What should I do? Would I have been allowed to help if I had been able to attend? I dont know. Why am I getting so worked up about it all. And why am I allowing this rage that is bringing down the cheery holiday spirit I woke up with this morning to overtake my day? There are things I am looking forward to today: exchanging gifts with my family, eating a nice dinner with the kids, watching them all play together, enjoying being home for the holidays. I've finished wrapping all my gifts and I know that I am all set for things to go up to Ft Mac. But I am still in a bad place. I cant fight it all. I dont know that i want to talk much about it. I dont feel like doing much and I am incredibly sore from falling down the stairs yesterday. Its all folding on top of me like a house of cards and I dont know that I want to fight back today. My house is in shambles from my fury and I hate that even my children cant make me smile. I am going to see a doctor tomorrow morning but for today I am just... 12:55 p.m. - 2004-12-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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