xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On Being a Keener So, things are progressing as planned and we are in full packing mode. It feels sadly familiar to sort my books and valuables into assorted liquor store boxes. On that thought, the liquor store is a great source of strong and sturdy boxes. Something about crates of glass bottles that requires heavy cardboard girdings...But, I digress. Ahh yes, packing. We have put all of my books away and it is like watching friends disappear from my living room. I know, pathetic, but whatever. I have a crazy attachment to my books and even reading about the book burning rages of the Nazis or the Maoist Cultural Revolution, makes me cry. Nevertheless, I am sure that I will survive the week or two without them.*Sigh* I went to school today to withdraw from my course and from university in general. As I stood in the Registrar's Office, I felt a sense of incompleteness and, perhaps a tinge of failure, in vocalizing the words: "Hi, I'd like to drop out of university, where do I sign?" But the lady behind the counter was stoic, unknowingly unsympathetic to the frog in my throat, and brisk in getting her job done efficiently and without question. I am not upset at her, after all, she had no idea what kind of turmoil I was going through. No clue as to the myriad of emotions running through me in the instant betwen standing in line and stepping up to her desk. Once I completed that unhappy task, I made a detour up to my professor's office. I felt obliged to explain to her in person why I would be quitting and the circumstances that led up to my decision. I know that this was neither required nor common, but somehow, it was necessary for my own sense of closure. Well, closure, I suppose is a strange word for it, because I then proceeded to go to class. Yes, I know I had just dropped it, and yes, I had just told my professor that I would no longer be in her class, officially. But I also decided that aso long as I was in town, I would go to class. After all, I enjoyed the stimulation of the class and the intellectual bantering between students. And though I would no longer have to do a full presentation or write an 8-page paper for the course, I have offered to do a mini presentation to make up for the class that I was leaving her to fill. Yes, I am a keener. Enough rambling, I am off to pack some more boxes. Tommorow, we are getting the cat neutered. *Sigh* 11:53 p.m. - 2/13/2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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