xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To Mel I didn't cry when you left. Maybe I had already said my good-byes in my heart before you went to Europe because it was much harder then than now. I knew that there would be moments when I could feel the prickle of tears, sharp against my eyelids, but for the most part, I was good. I knew that you will be busy and that busyness, more than anything I could ever say, would keep some of the "I-just moved-away" blues. Some things that I thought about saying but somehow, didn't. First, some nights you will be so lonely that you cant even cry straight. Everywhere you look, things will be strange and the things that are a bit familiar, will not be as good as they would have been at home. Second, there comes a moment (I promise!), when you realize that you are no longer thinking about home in every spare moment. That there are things that are beginning to interest you and capivate your idle thoughts right in your own backyard. Third, you will find places to nurture yourself--coffee shops, eclectic bookstores, gigantic malls, funky little restaurants. Let these places creep out of the woodwork and nestle into your daily walks around home. Fourth, you wil learn, very quickly, who sucks at keeping in touch. And, at first, it will be hard not to take it personally. As the emails taper off, the phone calls (mostly prompted by you) fade and the promises fall by the wayside of busy lives here and there, you will come to know who is not as lazy about communicating than others. Everyone has good intentions, but life gets in the way. Hopefully you will be more understanding of that than me (apparently still driving the bitter bus) when I lived "away". Fifth, as you settle into your new home (and actually begn to refer to it as "home") you will begin to know a side of yourself that maybe you never realized. One that, perhaps, you got to know a bit in Europe. And that is a good thing. No matter what, Mel, I want you to know that I have treasured all the moments laughed together, all the silliness and all the reasons that you can not even begin to fathom, nor I begin to tell, about what makes you my Joy. . . . I miss you already. . . . And I am crying now too. . . . Phooey.
12:40 a.m. - 2003-08-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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