xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- People P> Some of my friends are still in school--yes, they are slowly but surely coming out of the school "zone" but there are a few--those who have yet to leave school and those who have returned to school to complete something that they have finally realizes was missing from their life. They are talking about exams, studying, papers and the like. It is that time of year, after all. But not for me, not anymore. As much as I loved being in school, the feeling of being a student, the freedom to be able to read and study and learn every day, I do NOT miss the "school" part of school. That is the exams, papers, terrible professors and such. As I grow further away from the life of a university student, from the mindset of being at school. I find that many of my friends are not. That is, they are not pulling away from the lifestyle of being a student even though they may or may not be students any longer. You see, many work on campus a luxury I am jealous of to be sure--gainful, steady and well-paying employment with great and comprehensive benefits. Yeah, it's a good life and one that makes it harder, I suppose to transition from being a student to a person who is on campus not as a student. Still, as time goes by and I am moving further away from that community of people and that mindset of thinking, I fear that I am becoming more and more alienated from the people who remain there. Perhaps this is a convenient excuse for simply not being the one who calls people and never gets called, but there it is. And if I can justify it to myself somehow by saying that it is because of that, well, so be it. Re-reading this entry I feel as though I am saying that I have accepted that this is the way things are and I wont do anything to help it, and maybe at this moment that feels true. I have a lot on the go right now and though I would love to see people, I just haven't the energy to organize too much. In fact, when I do organize things, I try to get the "right" date to have something happen where the maxiumum number of people can come. I go places and offer choices for days. I get non-commital answers like "whenever" and "doesn't matter to me" and then when I choose a day, they then tell me that they are unsure if they can make it because it is an inconvenient day. What the hell? Why do you think I was asking when it was convenient? Yeah so I am in a bitchy mood. What's it to you? (I'm not really in a mood, maybe just a bit of a bitter streak right now. It'll pass when I actually get in the company of people. Honest.) 7:40 p.m. - 2003-12-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||