xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Leaving So I typed up the letter. I have it in my hand. It's a scary thing to be thinking about doing, quitting a job. Yet I know that it is the right thing to do. I have talked with the girl who is in my room as my teacher's aide. She immediately understood the reasons behind my going and told me that she had actually also been comntemplating the shift out of there. And that she couldn't see herself there in six months either. So that settles things a bit. I feel less anxious about whether or not I am simply being too picky about my job. That it really isn't all that it had promised to be. That nothing can really change to change my mind about it. I know that they will bring up the fact that things can change. That I should reconsider. But I know that the option to do so shuldn't be an open door for me. This road is not taking me anywhere that I would like to go and I need to keep my eyes on the future. It's one of those hard times where looking out for my own best interests is difficult because theier interests are not also being taken care of. That is, I can't please them and myself all at the same time. And for someone like me, a consummate people pleaser (even as I fight against the tendency) it is a long uphill battle. I have made time to talk with the owner this afternoon. I know that it is the right thing. Lord, my heart is about to leap out of my chest. 1:30 p.m. - 2003-12-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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