xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's the way the cookie crumbles Well folks it has been a hell of a ride and I guess I should have known it would end sooner or later. We'll start at the top since that is always a good place to begin and when we get to the end, well, I'll leave you to be the judge of that. Friday night M&M came over and we had a good time, blitzing out over the crazy amount of furniture spilling throughout the living room, and exchanging presents and generally having a good time. They got ready to go and I went to put my tired money down to bed so I could get ready to meet the others at the Druid. My mistake, as it turned out, was thinking I could lie down next to her without falling asleep. Which is exactly what I did. I mean, I guess I should have expected it, I worked from 7am and didn't get off til 5:15pm and then we made a massive shopping excursion on the hunt for THE GIFT that eludes us every single year: hubby's mom. Yes, she is our Christmas albatross of gift buying. She is a charming woman who appreciates many things but it is damn hard to shop for something that she will really USE. So we endured the crowds at The Mall. Eek. We got home about 8pm and I tell you it was tiring enough to just drag myself and my box of teaching things (the start of the deluge to come from my room as I prepare to leave) and shopping bags and tired monkey out of the car. But we did and we visited and it was nice. But tiring. I figured that I would see them at cookie party and on Sunday so I would get caught up there. And from the sounds of the exciting night out, as tired as I was, I would have been a terrible thorn in people's fun, perhaps. So it worked out for the best. Late that night we got a call from my parents who were excited beyond belief at this place they had looked at. They were so excited that they made an offer on it. Yeah. We didn't even know how to react, having not thought very seriously about buying a place and not having seen the place they wanted to buy. So yeah, things on my mind, you know? Well, we got up on Saturday morning and tromped over to the west end where the townhouse is and it was nice. And it was priced right for us. And we liked it a lot. Sure there were things to fix up, sure there was a bit of paint needed to spruce it up and amake it "ours", sure the carpet would eventually need to be replaced. But for now, it is exactly what we need. Three bedrooms, one and a half bath, all appliances, finished basement, wood-burning fireplace, end unit, green belt outside our door. It hit all teh things we were looking for and the price was good. I still worry about whether or not the financing will go through and the exact logistics of working and driving and such withonly one vehicle. But it is small peanuts I think. We signed the papers over McDonald's breakfast and felt a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing. It was a bit surreal to think we had just started the ball to signing for 25 more years of debt. We made it back home in time to start on wrapping our gifts, finish scribbling our Christmas cards and tidy the house up for the company we were expecting. Or the company I thought we were expecting. Only six showed up and one of them left as quickly as she had come. The others stayed between 15 and 2 hours and though we managed to decorate some cookies, it certainly felt like a mere shell of cookie party goodness. My cookie has crumbled and I suppose that I should have seen it coming. Even the planning of it was difficult and now that there is the other Party to go to, mine is no longer necessarly to gather people together for the holidays. I suppose that it had to evolve that way, next year, if there is a next year, I think that it will be a different guest list, perhaps re-invented to gather other friends together, since the people I have invited have more pressing obligations and we will see one another at the other Party, after all. I've cried enough today to drown a small country and I think maybe it is time to let the idea of what the cookie party was change and evolve, as all things must under the sun. It was lovely talking with those that did come, however briefly, I discovered many things about myself and about their lives that we normally don't seem to make time for, no matter how many Tea and Talks I host or times I go to Thursday night TV. Wren was especially appreciated as she came late and stayed later, until my monkey waved goodbye to her as we chatted on the couch well into the night. A mention that more people might have come if I called them more often, but I dont know that it is necessarily the case. Sometimes, I guess, things between people just change and they are still in the single life and I am so firmly entrenched in 'family'--I worked such long hours and when I got home, there were maybe 4 hours before bedtime in which to talk with hubby, dance with monkey, make dinner, eat, update and get the lesson ready for the next day. Not a whole lot of other time, really, and though it might not seem like I lead a very busy sort of life I really do. And others do too, so busy-ness seems to always catch up with us. Bah. My eyes are puffy and making the screen blurry and this entry is getting a bit much even for me. Suffice to say, I was disappointed tonight. On a number of levels, for a number of reasons. Hubby has asked if I will go to the Party and I can see no reason to drag out feeling like bleh even though I am hurt and upset. Maybe I just have to re-evaluate what I let get to me. Maybe nothing matters the way I think they should. Maybe I am too sensitive. Maybe the hormones are getting me down. My stomach hurts, I am shivering and I think my nose has become a tap. I shall go lie in bed and stare at the ceiling, wallow a bit in my misery and hopefully things will look up in the morning. 7:07 a.m. - 2003-12-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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