xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day of doctors I was kind of anxious to see my doctor this morning, having gone in to L & D AGAIN last night because I hadnt felt Peanut moving in so long it was worrisome. All turned out well, seems like there is just lots of sleeping going on in utero--prepping for some long arduous journey, perhaps soon?! I was hoping that there would be lots of progress. OK, I was hoping for SOME progress. Anything would have made me happy. And, of course, there was nothing. Or so little that my charts show that nothing has changed. Oh sure, she could actually reach in and feel the baby's head, and she came out all bloody so that was new. Ugh. But other than getting a bit softer, my cervix seems to be taking its own merry time doing anything. She began to chat me up to scheduling a c-section for next week if I hadnt begun labour by my next appointment (which she made me make for Wednesday the 4th) and despite my anxieties about it, she kind of left me to believe that it was too risky to try anything else. Her closing words to me were that now was not a time to want to control things. So I should just hand my body over to her and let her do what she will? I dont think so--even this late in teh game, I know that there are options available and I'd like to explore them. I left in tears. I bawled in the car and came home and slept the day away. I woke up just in time to go see my OB/GYN (the doc who performed my c-section) to talk about what my real options were regarding inductions, c-sections and VBACs. It was a much more productive visit than the one in the morning. She was upbeat and informative and totally supportive of waitng it out and then offering options for having a successful labour. Should nothing happen on its own, I am to go in for (possible/probable) induction (if all things are favorable--ripe cervix, some dilation, positive outlook) on August 6th. And, as long as things continue to progress nicely with no sign of uterine rupture, I can continue to labour until I give birth. A repeat c-section being the very very last resort (which is, I feel for me at least, as it should be). I left in a better frame of mind, she told me that I wasnt a "hopeless' case (showing no signs of softening, dilation or effacement), that at least I was soft, somewhat effaced and dilated a little bit with baby really down low and that things could go at any time. It helped that she had a beeper on right at that minute for a lady who was a "hopeless case" the day before and was currently in active labour. A little bit of optimism goes a long way, you know? And so it goes. Still pregnant, still no real change in anything, but a bit of hope that things can still not end in c-section again. 11:56 p.m. - 2004-07-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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