xeryfyn's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Habby Bird-day Mama! Today I turned 28. I dont feel 28, dont feel like things have changed enough for me to be this age. I dont exactly know what I was expecting my life to be like but I am surprised nevertheless. I am a stay at home mother of two beautiful daughters. They are spaced exactly the way I had intended them to be, even though neither of them were really "planned" in the broadest sense of the word. I think I am as good a mother as I can be. I am happily married to a man who makes me laugh and thinks I am beautiful and talented, even on days, like today, when I am snivelly and sick and dont feel talented or beautiful at all. I have a better relationship with my extended family than I have ever had before and I see them all fairly regularly. I budget at least some of my money and make grown up decisions like whether or not to purchase quality furniture or another vehicle. But I still dont know what I'd like to do when I grow up, still like to watch Saturday morning cartoons and Disney movies, still love to smell fresh crayons and new colouring books, still read more YA books than adult ones and still like to have regular afternoon naps. I buy more things on impulse than I should and still have some troubles keeping my hair brushed and my shirt clean during meals. I dont know if someone is going to come in from the grown up patrol and tell me that it has all been a big test and I am doing a passable job as a Big Person. Most of the time, especially now that I am taking meds for my PPD, I am more in control of the edge that I am walking along and if this is all it takes to be 28, then I guess I will be OK. We had lined up babysitter for both kids so that I could go to an actual movie theatre with my husband tonight, but since both kids and myself were feeling utterly lousy, I made the grown up decision to keep them with us. We had dinner that someone else cooked and cleaned up after (we ate out at East Side Marios) and then we rented a shmaltzy comedy (The Terminal, which was cute and senitmental, which is right up my alley) and settled ourselves for an evening in. It was nice, low key and just what I wanted. I had some birthday cake with my parents and my sister's family a few days earlier, and some of my friends called to sing me happy birthday. My daughter put her little arms around my neck and said "Habby Bird-day Mama? Wanna hat?" And she put a bucket on my head. Elena showed off how she could sit up without support for more than 5 minutes and my hubby indulged my kitchen appliance desires. It was a great day and, in conjunction with my 101 list, I anticipate more great days ahead. 11:03 p.m. - 2005-01-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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